Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. -John 14:27
This is post #53, meaning it’s been over a year since I started this little thing. Yet, I’m kind of in the same position I was fifty-three posts ago:
Long story short, for reasons that God knows, a friendship with which I’ve been abundantly blessed did not develop into a romantic relationship. For his comfort and privacy, that’s all I’m going to broadcast.
So, here I am again, a mix of sad and disappointed, staring at the rest of my life, wondering what the heck is out there. It feels a little like I’ve taken 53 steps back.
But man, oh, man, am I leaps and bounds ahead. I am unrecognizably different. Yes, I’m faced with this void, and I’m still terrified, angry, anxious, and sad. Yet, all I know is that I can’t be afraid to start over. I can’t be afraid to face this, because God has shown me time and again that He is with me and He has GOT this. He tells me not to worry. He tells me every day. I just need to listen, and do what I can to smile at the future (Proverbs 31:25).
Like I said in a previous post, I gave that relationship a roaring good shot, whether or not it would work out how I would have expected. I did my part. God will more than sufficiently do His.
And on that note, it feels like time for me to call it a year and conclude this blog. Though it feels like I could, sometimes, I always knew I couldn’t write forever. Thank you all so, so, so much for sticking with me, for reading, for reaching out to me, for encouraging me all this time.
It is so funny how God works. He uses the most unexpected things to touch others. This silly little blog brought me in contact with people I’ve never met before, with sides of friends I’ve never seen, and with lessons I didn’t know I desperately needed to learn. I will never be able to thank God enough for giving me this thing, this thing that I never expected to change my life in so many different ways. God works mysteriously, that is for gurtdern sure.
For one thing, my first post wasn’t an introduction; it was a cry out to God. I wrote that I was “praying for every word I typed”—yeah, no, I wasn’t. I wanted to, I wanted to WANT to, and with time, God answered the prayer I didn’t know I prayed. He took over this thing without me realizing it. Thank GOD. I thought that when I found my future husband, my life would finally begin. God showed me that my life had started two decades ago and it was about time I started living it for Him.
(Also, just to emphasize what a dumb-dumb I was, I kissed some guy about two weeks into my “purposeful singleness.” I thought I’d be ashamed to write that, but I’m not, because I have so much more strength now than I had then, and I know that’s not the same “me.”)
The “me” I am now is still under construction—God didn’t stop after He knit me in my mother’s womb. The end of this blog does not mean the end of the wait of my world. Still waiting for Christ, still growing to know and love Him, and that will just continue, come future, come husband, come family, come (literally) God-knows-what, until He brings me home.
If you need encouragement or have any questions or anything at all for me, find me on Facebook: Grace Claire Schneider. Send me a message, please.
Of course, God is way easier to get ahold of, so talk to God for encouragement, too. He’s Who I go to anyways.
With the utmost, craziest, sincerest, God-given gratitude,